Lessons Learned from a Project Dreaded

Well, I knew I couldn't live with myself (with my shamefully procrastinating self) if I didn't complete this one long-overdue, mega-daunting, academic assignment by the end of the year. (Details in my previous whiny, whimpering post.) I wasn't qualified to write this thing, I had no idea how to write this thing, this thing wasn't a thing anybody would really know how to write. But I had agreed to do it.  So now it simply had to be done. 

So I did it. I emailed it off on Christmas Eve. It was a huge relief when, for better or worse, I pressed SEND.

Some of the lessons I learned in finally making myself do the undoable-task-that-nonetheless-needed-to-be-done are lessons I already knew, but keep forgetting. Others are new to me, and I'm glad I learned them before the new year begins.

Here they are.

1. The way to eat an elephant really is one bite at a time. When the elephant is overwhelming enough, for me the best way to measure the bites is by the clock, not by the task. The tasks are too awful to think about! But if I turn over my beloved hourglass and sit at my computer for an hour, SOMETHING WILL GET DONE. The Grateful Dead told us to keep on trucking, but I do best when I keep on trudging. 

2. The ONLY way that anything you have to do will get done is if you actually DO it. In real life, sad but true, no elves show up in the night to do your work for you. (Complaining about the work, making social media posts about the work, and blogging about the work are NOT the same thing as DOING the work.) One of my life mantras generally, which also applies here, is "If it is to be, it's up to me."

3. BUT that said, if you show up faithfully to do the work, the elves (or the angels, or the muses, or your sub-conscious) are likely to feel sorry for you, too, and show up with additional assistance. A brilliant insight may pop into your head - well, not brilliant, exactly, but a new idea you didn't have before. As you write, without really knowing what you are going to say, you will start to figure out what you need to say. THE MAGIC WILL HAPPEN. Or at least a glimmer or two of magic.

4. Those people (colleagues, editors, peer-reviewers) who are going to end up reading this disappointing, dismal draft are not your terrifying adversaries; they are actually ON YOUR SIDE. If you are making any terrible mistakes along the way, they will likely catch them and help you correct them. The making of this thing is a collaborative venture. You are not alone.

5. It will feel so good to have this thing done!! You will wish you had just sat yourself down at your desk months ago! But sometimes the time of dread bears unexpected fruit. While I was endlessly deferring the writing of this academic essay, I wrote my first two verse novels for young readers, which I believe are the best books I have ever written. I will never regret that I did that instead. Could I have reversed the order: duty and drudgery first, THEN the dessert of writing bliss? Maybe. But maybe not. I can't be sorry that I chose bliss instead. 

6. MAYBE the fact that you dreaded, feared, and loathed the doing of this thing so much means that in the future you should do less of it??  Maybe it doesn't: some people do dread and fear the work they love. But if you LOATHE the work? Well, maybe that's a sign that it's time to make some different choices. Note to self for 2021!