Saturday night at bedtime I saw a winter storm warning for the Colorado high country, so we switched the meeting time from Sunday to Monday. On Monday morning, there were still traction laws in effect at high elevations, so after much dithering and indecision, we decided to wait till my son, with better tires and better driving skills, was finished with his work and could make the drive in my stead; but then mid-morning the weather reports were favorable, so I loaded up Kat and Madi for a drive that ended up taking most of a day that was supposed to be spent meeting work obligations.
Oh, it's so hard to keep changing plans over and over again! I love when the girls come, but I also start to yearn for time to myself, or rather, time to do all the other kinds of work I need to do that I can't do when I'm a full-time caregiver for a two-year-old and a four-year-old: grope toward ideas for the next title in my forthcoming chapter book series for Holiday House, read installments of works-in-progress from my Hollins University graduate students and SCBWI (Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators) mentees, even answer email - or write a blog post.
But that's what life is. We make plans. Plans change. "Man proposes, God disposes." "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men/ gang aft a-gley." "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." Indeed.
I didn't plan for a winter storm last weekend. As far as that goes, I didn't plan for my son and his wife to get divorced. I didn't plan to be a ten-days-a-month caregiver for the two little girls I love more than anything in the world just as I took early retirement from being a philosophy professor at CU so I could devote myself full time to my writing. I didn't plan for any of this.
This month I'm doing the poem-a-day challenge again. Here's my favorite of April-so-far: a poem about the dog I didn't plan to have either.
Walking with Tanky-the-Dog
The only good thing about my son's divorce
was supposed to be that she would take
the dog, but somehow – how did this happen? –
here he is. We walk every day, the two of us.
Never has earth seen raptures to rival
Tanky's writhing with joy at the sight
of the leash. He trots beside me,
small legs churning, so pleased, so proud.
I'm surprised when other people stop
to tell me how cute my dog is. My dog?
Oh, that's right: they must mean Tanky.
If other dogs growl, he is sublimely indifferent.
But if they don't, he does the obligatory
growling. After all, someone has to do
whatever it is that needs to be done. And
sometimes that someone turns out to be you.
It’s a balancing act to take care of loved ones and labors of love (writing) and the only expectation I have is things will happen when they are meant to.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poem and Tanky is a cutie!
Thanks, Laura - and will I meet your own new cutie tomorrow???
ReplyDelete