I just received my official offer letter from DePauw University for me to be their visiting professor of ethics at the Prindle Institute of Ethics for the 2011-12 academic year, and I signed it and sent it back.
The deed is done.
As soon as I put the letter in the mailbox, beyond possibility of retrieval, I had my first twinge of doubt about this idea of spending almost an entire year elsewhere. I still want to have this enchanted time at this place of which I'm so fond already, with dear friends awaiting me, and an opportunity to grow as a scholar and philosopher in so many ways. But what about my dear little life here? I miss it already! My dear sweet little life - my almost daily walks with Rowan, the half a dozen dear friends who live within a few blocks of my house, my church that means so much to me, the Knitted Brow, my sons, my cat - can I really leave all this for a year, just leave it and go?
I have to stop thinking this way. I remember what when I first had Christopher, 22 years ago, I made the terrible mistake as a working mother of feeling guilty the whole time I was at work that I wasn't home with him, and then feeling guilty the whole time I was with him that I wasn't working. Luckily, I soon figured out what a bad system of thinking that was, and I started focusing on loving and cherishing every minute of my time with him and then loving and cherishing every minute of time at work.
That's what I need to do here. I'm going to savor every minute of my dear sweet life in Boulder from now until I leave in August for Indiana. Then I'm going to savor every minute of that gift of a year away. And then I'm going to return to my dear sweet life in Boulder, loving it more than ever.
That's what I'm going to do.
Congratulations, Claudia. Your approach seems so wise.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Getting away will be a good thing, and they're lucky to have you. SW
ReplyDeleteMixed emotions accompany every big change. It's inevitable. I think you've analyzed it and are ready for this next exciting adventure. Awesome!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Claudia. You take the sweetness with you wherever you go!
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